Ms. Teacher

We all have good days and bad days, but as a teacher, you have to constantly put on a happy face and not let personal issues interfere with your teaching. Not that I have super dramatic personal issues, but I've been starting to feel a little claustrophobic here, and bored of my daily routine. Every day is the same, all the people are the same, the students are the same, the situations are the same, the conflicts are the same, the meetings are tedious and boring and end with no conclusion, etc. etc..

So yesterday morning, I metaphorically hit a brick wall when I came into choir and found that not one of the students had even looked at the music that I had given them almost four weeks ago. I have been spending every class period going over the same material over and over again because they don't work on it on their own. The choir is made up of all the students in the school - including piano, composition, string, and percussion majors. I agree that it is beneficial for everyone to be able to sight sing and for people who aren't used to hearing harmony, it's definitely a good introduction to have to sing different melodies together. But to teach a class of 43 with about a good 25% disinterested is something else. There's no point. The vocal students are being held back because they can learn the vocal lines quickly and the people who are disinterested get increasingly bored and frustrated because they haven't learned the part and we have to then go over the same parts repeatedly. I have set some pretty strict rules when it comes to being on time to class, and learning the music. I have given quizzes where people have just plain failed because they hadn't learned their part. What more can I do? If they don’t learn their part and don’t care about failing, there’s really nothing more.

I’m generally pretty well put together, especially in public. But my frustration and annoyance had gotten to a point where I just couldn’t handle it anymore and so I just started crying in front of everyone and screaming “What is the matter with you people! You’re lazy and unappreciative! What more do I have to do to get you to work harder?! Why don’t you want to learn!” etc. etc. My grievances were met with shocked sideways glances, clasped hands and feet staring.

And then with a overly- dramatic pause, I slowly closed the book and said “class dismissed.” and walked out a half hour before class was supposed to end. In retrospect it’s actually quite comical.

I’m sure this is not abnormal, but after leaving the class, I was totally and utterly mortified and was ready to pack my bags and leave immediately. But of course I couldn’t do that. So I did the next best thing. I came home and furiously cleaned my apartment.

45 minutes later I get a knock on my door and it’s the watchman who’s come to tell me that some of the students are here. I’m thinking, “um, they’re not allowed in the faculty house..” and then I see that three of them have come to talk. Apparently after I left, these three decided they needed to have an emergency student meeting to discuss the dire situation. So they came to me with a thorough and detailed proposal on how I should continue with the chorus with strategies on how to keep people interested. How cute is that? They basically said the problem is the difference in teaching methods between the east and west. Here there is a distinct hierarchy between administration, teachers and students and there really is no method to teaching other than “do it or fail.” Or worse, “do it or get hit.” They said basically that I’m just too nice and shouldn’t treat them with respect or as equals, and admitted that it’s difficult to be motivated without someone threatening them. Hmm… that’s a tricky situation because I’m not exactly the threatening or beating type.

Anyway, in the end, I’m happy that they got freaked out a bit by my reaction… no more mr. nice teacher. Hopefully next class will be better.

In more exciting news, we had our first vocal student recital on Friday and both Selva and Rahman came. The students were accompanied by Robert on harpsichord and Eilidh on cello; and for the students who did musical theater songs, I played for them on the piano. I was so nervous – more nervous than the kids. I used to think that it was so egotistical for teachers to think that how well the students did is a reflection on them. But now I completely understand. I also somewhat understand parenting I suppose by default. But anyway, I was like sweating profusely and running around like a chicken with its head off.

It turned out to be a wonderful concert and both Selva and Rahman loved it. Yay!
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So I wrote this last week right after choir class and have since had another class with them. They still hadn't looked at the material even a little bit, so I just sighed out loud, and announced a pop-midterm. Only 25 of the students were there today out of 42 and I just calmly said "will you please tell the students who are not here, that they have just failed their midterm." I called them one by one in front of the class and asked them to sing their part. About 2/3 of the class failed. The rest got Bs and Cs.

Hopefully this method will work.